March nablopomo... Over.

Okay. So I tried this again this month as a tool to help myself get back in the swing of keeping up with my blog after being so sporadic with it due to illness in the family, illness personally etc. Blah blah blog. Missed one day yesterday because honestly I was sick and had nothing to say, unless the incoherent whining of someone on painkillers going on and on about the same old crap is interesting to you... doubtful. Therefor, I'm saying I had nothing to say. So naplopomo... March... Fail. But I think it served my purpose. I believe I'm back on track, for the most part, with the blog. When I have something to say... I will. I do believe it is a good exercise in self discipline, often I need that. Sometimes, though, I just need a day to be quiet.

Almost... Wordless Wednesday.

Hole Punch Cloud

Perhaps I would actually be wordless if I saw this with my own eyes. Spectacular photo. I had a rush of things going through my mind when I saw this. First, I imagined a sense of relief from pressure and pain. I had my Daddy in mind, as I do so often right now. Curious. Does this invoke any emotions in you?

I'm Calling on Tall Paul.

I think this photo is fantastic. I don't remember where I found it, but I'm going to call it Tall Paul. I always thought a guardian angel might come in the form of a shadow, perhaps mine might look like him. Now I have a tall order for Tall Paul. I'm going in for a follow up CT in the morning, one for which I'm drinking copious amounts of berry smoothie flavored barium tonight and tomorrow morning, and since I'm allergic to iodine, I'm prepping with prednisone and benydryl. All of this prep is not a big deal. I've had three of these in the last month. Just mentioning it as part of the context of my little story. If I may, I would like for my test to come up clear, so I can just be over this junk that has been messing with me for the last several weeks and get on with life. I don't like to be tied down to my house, or relegated to resting due to doctor's orders. I am hopeful. I have behaved. So, I would like good results. I know that is a tall order, but I need to give my energy to my daddy, and not to spinning my wheels around here just... being. So come on Tall Paul. What do you say? A favor? I'm asking for your help, I've already gone out on a limb and asked the Big Guy upstairs for the big miracle for my dad, which is the one that truly matters, but he doesn't give immediate answers. Hoping yours will come in the form of a good report on Friday. Thanks Paul.

Barbie you 50 year old teenage freak!

So, today is the big Happy 5-0 for the preternaturally young, beautiful fashion doll Barbie. Most of us know about Barbie and how, when and why she came to be. That info has been all over the web lately, I certainly don't need to give you a history lesson about Mattel and the evolution of Barbie. Personally, I hadn't given Barbie much thought in years until today then I started remembering what fun I used to have playing "Barbies" and one thing led to another and before I knew it I was looking up all of my old favorites.

The doll above is much like the first one I had. A hand me down from my older sisters, probably from the early sixties, when I finally got my own dolls later on this doll always took on the roll of the mom. Most likely due to her stylish sixties mom-do.

This is the Francie & Casey townhouse that my Barbies took up residence in. Unbelievably hard to find a photo of this on the web. The other girls were all interested in the Barbie dream house, but I had this cool vinyl fold out case with mod furniture. I do not know who Casey was, but I did have a Francie doll. This from the late 60's time period. I always associate this with kindergarten, so I must have received it around that time but played with it from then until I quit the Barbie game.

Ah. Malibu Barbie and Ken. I had them both, issued the first year available. I was in first grade. After I received these, no pale Barbies would darken the doorstep of my townhouse again. I mean, come on. These guys were cool. Except Ken's clothes, my Ken generally wore his swim trunks year round because he generally looked like a big dork in everything sold commercially. In my mind, as a child, I sort of thought Ken was not a good match for Barbie. I thought GI Joe was a much better choice. My Barbie and Ken never married in a dream wedding ceremony.

One thing all the dolls did quite a lot was go camping! This was possibly my favorite toy ever. I believe I had a dune buggy or some type of vehicle they cruised around in. This thing came out early seventies. This is the color scheme I had. I believe later editions were pink. Many times, I would drag the townhouse along on these camping trips (because in your imagination you can do whatever the hell you want to do!) and the dolls would have one gigantic house - camper party, because even then I did not believe in sleeping outside and only traveling in style. My friend K. contributed to the travel theme by adding her Barbie's Friend Ship on our play dates. We would take over the entire family room floor of one of our houses, hers or mine, with these elaborate doll scenarios.

The Friend Ship was very cool, a plane when opened up it had a seating area...

A wing with the stowing are painted on and even a little galley with a push cart and dishes!

Hours and hours of fun. We couldn't give up that Barbie habit until sometime after sixth grade. We played Barbie secretly in sixth grade because her next door neighbor teased us at school about it, so a few times there was a rush to hide the Barbie stuff when the girl knocked on the door for us to go out and play. I think it is sad that kids grow up so fast now. Also, I think the old Barbie accessories were so much more clever then, than they are now. Perhaps I'm biased, but looking through hundreds of items today I was surprised at the variety and detail of things we had available back then. Now that I have that out of my system, I can move on. No need to start a collection, but would love to have all the things I had back so I could sell them on Ebay. I can't believe what people pay for some of those old collectibles.

Sleep, Daylight Savings Time Style.

Having nothing at all to do with rebelling against Daylight Savings Time and losing that hour of sleep which really, when I think about it, would be very in character for me to do, I slept 13 hours last night. That makes two nights in a row. The difference between today and yesterday, I am not going back for a nap today like I did yesterday. Enough is enough.

So, having mentioned all that sleep I wish someone could measure in real time the amount of that time I spent in nightmare land. Good Gawd y'all. Yes, I am prone to nightmares. Crazy, outlandish, often bizarre with elements of humor sprinkled in to delight me and scare the hell out of me at the same time. I remember these in great detail for the most part. Sometimes completely, like a movie playing out in my mind. Sometimes, I only remember snippets... like a short scene. Those short scenes are usually the creepiest.

Once, I had an odd yet delightful little dream/nightmare about being trapped in a basement of a house. Stay with me here. This basement was huge. And like a maze. And I was being chased, by barnyard animals. Not just barnyard animals on four feet, no. These were special. These were billy goats on hind legs, wearing denim jackets lined with sheep's wool. I know. What the hell. The leader wore sunglasses. You can see how that is humorous? I sure can. I managed to get away from them after a very long foot chase through this basement, by finding my way out through the door that led to the driveway. What does all that mean?

Another time, I had a dream that I was at a wedding, outdoors. It was in a mountain valley, just at the base of a mountain. Very very lovely. The odd thing? The entire wedding party and all the guests were on pogo sticks. It was such an odd thing to celebrate a wedding by jumping on pogo sticks, on the side of a mountain.

Then there is this. A little girl, blond with braids down the sides. Wearing a prairie dress. Sitting on the end of my bed cutting tails off mice with huge scissors. This was one of those dreams that comes to you when you are sleeping in that odd paralyzed state where you want to wake up so badly, but can't? Terrifying. She just kept cutting off those tails. Evil evil girl.

There are also the recurring variety. I have one in particular that just won't go away. It is a house, not my actual house, but my house in my dream, that is always changing and has a secret level that whole families sometimes move into and live in until I discover them there. There is also a room there that is locked, but is full to the brim with junk. It is in the basement and the walls are painted pink. The back yard is forgotten. In my dream I often see the back yard and seem surprised that it exists, then feel overwhelmed by its state of overgrowth. Then, there is the dining room. It is lovely, but in such bad repair that the ceiling is open to the sky. I hate that dream it brings on such anxiety. Did I mention that one family that moved in was the Beverly Hillbillies? Yeah. I know. Ellie May poaching on my property. Don't say anything.

Last night I had dreams upon dreams. None as fascinating as those above. But it is no wonder I don't get any real rest.

Springing Forward

Just a reminder, don't forget to set your clocks ahead an hour tonight!

Friday Fun Facts - Irrational Fears Edition.

Friday Fun Facts!

Welcome to another edition of Friday Fun Facts! Today another narcissistic list about me, because if I weren't just a tad self centered... why would I blog about myself right? At least I recognize my weaknesses. Speaking of weaknesses. Let's get on with the list, shall we? Since I freely admit to being a neurotic woman, I thought I'd share with you some of my most irrational fears. Whoa. I have a lot, but these are a few of the highlights.

• I have a freakish fear of highly polished stairs and stairs with open backs. I absolutely know in my heart that I am going to slip and fall on one of these staircases someday, and break every bone in my body... if not die. I think they should be labeled a safety hazard.
• Clowns. Get those things away from me. There is nothing funny about them. Nothing.
• Raw Poultry. I don't really enjoy any kind of poultry, but if I have to prepare it I can't eat it, and touching it requires a complete sterilization of the kitchen. So much work for a so/so food item.
• Becoming a pack rat. I can't stand clutter, piles and I enjoy throwing things away.
• Crowds. They make me feel claustrophobic, panicked and afraid.
• Driving in the dark. This is not that irrational... I have night blindness, I can't see which makes me a road hazard and fearful.
• Living beyond the point where my mind and body function together.
• Things that creep and crawl and hide in dark corners. I have never let a spider outdoors to survive in my life. I am all about the kill. Sorry. I have nightmares about spiders. Often.
• Feet. I will not touch another person's feet. Ever. Unless it is a baby. Period. I will also not go barefoot. Ick.
• Motorcycles. No bad experiences with them, I'm just very afraid of them. When I was little I cried when they drove down the street. Now I just stay away from them.
• Loud noises. Maybe that explains the motorcycles? Hmmm.

Wallowing in it for one day.

Giving myself one day to wallow in self pity. Typically, I am not a self pity kind of girl but, I was very much looking forward to spending the next two weeks by my daddy the cowboy's side. It was going to be just the two of us, spending some quality time together while he undergoes radiation treatments for his cancer. Today my doctor told me that due to my own recent hospitalization, the infection that prompted it being so serious and the fact that I'm still not feeling energetic or well, plus I still have follow up tests that should be done next week (like a CT scan) she had to advise against my going on my trip, as planned. I felt shocked and sad and anxious, and all I really wanted was my dad. Like a little girl.

I'm sure any of us who has had a parent or relative or friend going through a difficult time like cancer or some other illness has had similar helpless feelings. Sad, anxious, heartbroken. Ahhh. It is so hard.

There is an upside to this story. My husband is going in my place, which is generous, loving, and the sweet. So very characteristic of who he is. No one asked, he just took care of it as soon as he got word that I couldn't go. Yeah. Go ahead and tease me for calling him my hero. This man is my hero and that is just the way it is and this is one of the reasons why.

Film Festival .. stop by if you are in the area!

http://www.lindseyfilmfest.com/festival.html

Last night I dedicated a post to my sister, saying that this week was a very big deal to her. I was a little bit cryptic about it on purpose, only because I was saving the why this is a big deal for today. So it is today now. An hour and a half from tomorrow, actually, as I look at my clock.

My older sister teaches English at the University of North Alabama. She also devotes a good deal of her time, (a good deal of her time is a value I can't assess, as there is no time clock involved but I know that it equals many many hours) as a volunteer, to being part of the team that is the George Lindsey UNA Film Festival. You may remember George Lindsey as Goober, of Andy Griffith fame. He attended UNA, and the festival is named in his honor. I was proud to meet him at last year's festival.

This is not just any academic film festival. This festival, located in Florence, Alabama, in the Shoals area brings in first class talent, and interesting and informative workshops, panel discussions and submissions. Last year the headliner was Billy Bob Thornton. I believe I already mentioned on this blog that I was overly giddy over that, as he is one of my very favorite actors of all time. Okay, gosh. Fine. Here I'll show you the photo again. Quit asking. This photo was taken at the President's reception, where the Talent gets to mix with the important folks who put the festival together. *IMPORTANT NOTE* Hubby and I were not originally invited and it was only a polite last minute invite that we ended up there. We are not cool people. Trust me. If we were, I would have been wearing my hammer pants, and not Banana Republic jeans.

Brother in law J, Hubby, Sister, The Man the Myth the Legend, Me.

I am really not going anywhere at all with this post, except to say that if you are in the Shoals this week and feel like checking out the festival, visit the link above and get the info. Also, my very cool cousin Nathaniel Teal Minton will be there for the second year in a row, as a Screenwriting Workshop Presenter. Word on the street has it that this was a very popular session last year.

As for my sis, I hope she is getting a good nights sleep. I know she will need it. There will be much running, last minute calls for help, frantic searches for extra chairs and last minute flight changes to be deal with, not to mention the fans. Lee Majors and Rance Howard are there this year. Yes folks. The Six Million Dollar Man and Ronnie's Dad, though that is reducing them to the simplest of terms. I'm flying in Sunday afternoon, and am sad that I am missing the whole thing because these guys must have a lot of history to talk about.

Love you sister sledge, good luck with the festival and remember to have a good time. See you on Sunday!

Giving to my Sister.

Because this is a very big week for my sister, and I can't be there with her in person, I'm giving her my good thoughts and some energy. I'll be talking more about the details later in the week, but today she needs to gear up, gather her energy stores, drink her favorite beverage... coffee, and bring it. Which is really all about what she does best.

Here are a few motivational aids, sister style, just for her.

So she doesn't forget she comes from a very long line of very strong bitch slapping women, there is this:

Rest in Peace, Susannah Martin.

So she doesn't forget that her generation was full of rebellion and here is the remnants of what remains of the graffiti placed on the railroad bridge by her rival classmates from our hometown that we discussed at the holidays, (photo courtesy of a generous friend of mine). The photo is faint, but she knows what it is.

Stay strong. You decide who to say "hey" to.

Because you live in a part of the country where they serve an enormous amount of this animal, I couldn't resist. You know how I feel about this stuff. But go on girl. Enjoy. You need to fuel up.

And finally, I'm not sure why I never gave this pattern back to you in the 80's. So it is in the mail. I Fed-exed it to you this morning. You will receive both it and a fresh outfit, in your favorite color black, just in time to wear to the President's reception. No need for thanks, I just want you to look your best. Because I love you. I really really love you.

It's Hammer Time!

Adventures in the Sunshine. And the snow.

And so, despite it all I did get my butt up and out the door this morning for a short adventure. In keeping with my new plan to get on with my life because it is not getting any longer, I drove my skinny ass to the bank. And! Since, there are 167 branches of this bank in the Chicago metro area I decided I would try a new one today. I chose one of 10 within 9 miles from my house in a town I don't often visit. Good lord. No wonder the banks need a bailout. Do we really need one of these banks on every street corner? They may as well combine them with Starbucks. Let's not go there. Anyway. What the heck, an adventure on a SUNNY snowy day. Hey, do you think this was a wink from an angel? That alone was worth getting out of the house to see. Yes, the sun was shining and it was snowing. I'm not a meteorologist, just a spectator. All I know is what I see, folks. I realize this is the most boring post about a trip to the bank ever, but it is my adventure and it is the first time I've been out of the house in weeks, unless you count a week in the hospital... which I DO NOT. So, I do my business with the bank, lose my checkbook in the process (thank you good Samaritan for turning it in for me, now I get to visit that bank again in the morning.)

Realizing here that grammar is poor. It is both late, and I'm tired. Moving on.

I also needed to pick up a few things for the house and one of them was a shower caddy, you know the thing you hang from the nozzle to hold shampoo etc.? Is it just me, or does anyone else get completely overwhelmed by too many choices? I stood in TJ Maxx for 45 minutes just staring at the end cap housing these things. Overwhelmed. Just give me three and let me decide. I can't decide between 15. It is too much to bear. Finally I just grabbed a sturdy looking one and threw it in the cart and walked away. Fast. My legs were tired, I couldn't stand a change of mind.

When I turned down the next the aisle, I found the little object you see pictured at the top of this post. Really, how could I resist? Doesn't every little housewife who is hopped up on happy pills and pain killers need a set of these for her kitchen? The moment felt right. Appropriate. And not even ironic. Me. Still medicated, still motivated. Still not giving up.

Not Giving Up

Even though it is very much winter here in the Midwest and I'm still recovering from the dumb aftermath of an even dumber illness, all I can think of today is springtime and fresh air. Seems I'm suffering from the winter blues. Tomorrow I think we are getting snow. Later this week the weather should be nicer and in my effort to log it, therefore I shall accomplish it... I plan on taking a walk outside. Perhaps that will serve as my mood brightener. Frustrated with my body not keeping up with my mind right now. One of us is quicker than the other. I'll let you figure out which one.

I'm not giving up on my quest for energy. Hero keeps telling me it takes time. All I know is I'm done giving it my time, life is getting shorter every day. Time is wasting. I'm restless. I'm not really feeling poor me... I'm feeling lets get out and make things happen despite it all.

Sometimes, Health just gets in your way.

So. I have some explaining to do. Again. I typically am not the type to take on a project, and walk away from it for a month, just casually throwing my hands up in the air, oh la dee dah. Fidledee dee, I have better things to do like sip a nice cool lemonade out on the veranda. To be clear, I have not gone all Scarlet O'Hara on you. Thank you for caring, those who popped by and commented and I know my site meter is showing many more passersby wondering whats up in here.

First, the big things. I had been under the weather for a while. Since December, actually. Something that kind of came and went and came back with a vengeance but took hold of my energy like a dog with a bone that wouldn't let go. Last week, my body finally had enough and the husband got me to the hospital in time to make sure that a small perforation in my bowel didn't turn into anything horribly serious. I spent a week there in the hospital, and am home now recovering and will be working on revamping the website over the next few weeks. Everything old is, well... old. I'm sensing the need for fresh air and sunshine and dusting out corners. This old blog could use a little of that too.

Looking forward to getting onto the mission of this blog, which is all about exploring my new life. And, should anyone be interested... I'm a twit now. Find me at Twitter, hellownewlife is my name.