Move from Hell... Complete!

Image found here.

This image has nothing to do with the body of this post except that it is hellish to me. In my vision of hell, the demons are all puppets and clowns. I freaking hate those things. Really. Look at those eyes.

Really, this should be my final update, whine, moan and groan on the chaos that Hero and I have now deemed the Move from Hell. First, my apologies for not updating back on the 8th, as promised... computer connection problems. I believe that comes with the territory of setting up housekeeping in a new place/town. Gee, if only all of life's problems could be solved by placing a call to Comcast and having them send out a friendly tech to fix things right up! Okay, so here is the final bullet list:

• I didn't mention it before, but we arrived here on Friday, a bit over a week ago, and Hero had to leave for South America (Columbia) on business for six days on Sunday. We had contracted with the people who set up the move to hire a company that includes UNpacking as a service, because I have a bad (painful as hell) rotator cuff. The company they sent to move us did not offer that service. Hero was out of town for a week, I'm not being a martyr here... I just hate boxes. So I've been unpacking like a crazy woman. Wish I could mention the name of the company we hired. They suck.


• I'm a little out of order here, but you have to hear this. Back at the old house, we had a leather sofa in our finished basement that reclined on both ends. We had given instructions to Crackhead and Tubby, (my little pet name for the partner of Brokenfoot) how to take the sofa apart because it would not fit up the stairs in one piece. Okay, ma'am, no problem. When it came time to move the sofa up the steps, we hear moaning and groaning and screeching sounds on the walls. Hero and I ran over there and see they are trying to shove this huge sofa up the stairway and through the doorway. When we told them again that it needed to be taken apart first, Tubby glared at me and dropped his end (he standing at the top) and Crackhead had to make a run for it back down the steps because the sofa was coming right at him. In the process, the metal bottom of the sofa gouged out the walls and a side of a built in planter box at the bottom of the steps before it came to rest. They left the sofa laying upside down at the bottom of the stairs.


• Tubby took a poo in my powder room and clogged the toilet, overflowing it. He had personally packed all the plungers in the house except one and they were loaded already. We found the one. He used one of the furniture blankets to mop up most of the spill, but I had to clean it properly after they left.


• They ran out of there ten minutes later. Literally RAN, with Hero chasing after them screaming.


• The new owners of that house have a nice black leather sofa now. We are responsible for repairing the damages, we will send the bill to We Suck Moving Company, Inc.


• The next morning was filled with phone calls to figure out when and who was coming to pick up the remains of our things. The buyers took possession of the house at 2:00. Moving Company couldn't get anyone out until Saturday. Nice. We had to leave for Chicago to close on our new house the next day, had to hope the buyers would be cool with all our leftovers in their garage for a couple more days. As it turns out, they were perfectly lovely about it. There is a God. Tubby and Brokenfoot didn't show up until Sunday to get our things. We Suck Moving Company, Inc. keeps their word every time.


• Remaining beds, and furniture were delivered on Wednesday! Much of the wood furniture damaged. Tubby and Brokenfoot didn't wrap what remained. But I'm just happy its over. Really happy its over. The sofa from Hero's apartment here didn't fit into THIS basement, and neither did a queen size box spring (there is a turn heading down the steps) So we have to figure something out for a couple of rooms down there. No big. I gave that sofa away along with that mattress set to the movers (different set of guys).

Largely, things have been very smooth sailing since we have arrived in Illinois. Hero didn't get kidnapped by any drug cartels in Columbia so I didn't have to call upon my standby posse to go down and find him in the jungles. Thank God. Really the only glitch this week aside from a painful shoulder and sore back is that my best dog ever developed a case of bronchitis and I had to find a Vet... pronto. Of course I didn't know she had bronchitis, I just knew she was coughing. Anyway, I found a vet, he seems to know his stuff and the cool thing is the office manager is from Blue Springs, my town back home! She was very excited to meet someone from her home town and I was excited to meet someone who seemed familiar, though a stranger. You know? And I've been tooling around in my car getting where I need to go with the help of my little GPS, who Hero and I named "Jane, You Ignorant Slut." Yes, I'm giving away my age. I'm all about the golden age of SNL.

Now that moving trauma is OVER... Hero and I are looking forward to really and truly starting over here in this strange new land. I have to say, it is lovely here and I can't wait to get out and explore!