Thursday, December 4, 2008
I am NOT angry at God. I am NOT ANGRY AT GOD!
Because if I WERE angry at God, then that would be wrong, wouldn't it? Feels like it would be anyway. A forbidden emotion, something the church of my youth wouldn't have approved of. If I did get angry at God for not watching over my daddy, and answering my fervent prayers to keep HIS hand over my daddy's health, if I DID get angry because today my daddy was diagnosed with a large malignant tumor on his pancreas, will fire and brimstone really rain down on me? Because if that is the case, I'm calling Bullshit on that. Fine. Rain on me. Bring it on. I'm standing, looking up in the sky arms open wide screaming WHY? You know what? I AM angry. I am really damn angry. I just don't know that I'm angry at God. And my next sentence is probably going to be... it's just not fair. That was predictable. But so damn true.
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3 comments:
I'm sorry, Mel. I wish there was something I could do or say. In lieu of that, you have my permission to be angry at God.
Thank you for your kindness Pat. :)
I'm sorry Mel about your dad, same thing is going on with my mom so I truly understand. It's amazing how our emotions run wild during these horrific times with our loved ones.
I'm not mad at God, I'm clinging to Him now and praying for peace and a pain free time for our love ones. Hang in there sister. Gerra
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