Holiday Sweetness and Thanks.

Boulet Boots, Style 7154

And so it is that another frenzied Paris family Christmas has come and gone. This one held particularly special meaning to our family as my Daddy's illness left us all feeling that we should enjoy this holiday to the fullest. As I've mentioned, my dad is an ex-professional cowboy from way back in the day. He gave up being a cowboy years ago, but never gave up the attitude nor the style. This Christmas, in his honor, several of us took a trip to the local outfitter and purchased boots. I went with my heart set on a pair of Luchesse boots my dad had seen earlier in the week, but they didn't have my size. My next choice were the Dan Post boots he had mentioned, also not available in my size. I landed on the above boots, which fit like a dream and feel like slippers kids. Seriously, I may never take them off. Now I know why Daddy wore boots all his life. The hero bought a beautiful pair of boots as well as did my sister. We were seriously thinking of heading out and doing some big time ass kicking with our new found attitude. Hee Yaw! Sweetly, and sadly, my dad passed down his collection of Stetsons and Resistol hats to the heads in the family they fit. I was lucky to be the beneficiary of a beautiful hat belonging to a great uncle, long gone, who evidently had a very small head but a very large personality. I will always treasure it.

Another aspect of Christmas that made the day so special was spending time with fellow bloggers Pat and Megan, former students of my sister and now friends of mine. They were thoughtful to include me in the gift exchange and among my favorite items from them are a Guatemalan Worry Doll to put under my pillow (they are getting to know me so well... thanks so much y'all!) and a fleece blanket. Is it possible they knew I was asking everyone for fleece this Christmas? I've been cuddling it since I came home from Alabama. Seriously, we all need to get together for cake again soon. You two are the best.

Christmas is absolutely not about getting things, but these are a few of the things that made the holiday special and created memories and I wanted to pass along thanks.


Christmas... Over. Look out for 2009. May we all be blessed with good health and good friends.

Giving something back.

Click HERE to find out more about how YOU can Raise the Cure.

Since my Dad's diagnosis with Pancreatic Cancer, I've been feeling helpless. One thing I've done is research. The Internet is a bottomless well of information about cancers of every kind. Good information, bad information, how to sort through the muck? One organization I have found that I like very much is the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network. While I can find medical information at any number of reputable sources, this site is devoted to advancing research, "supporting patients and creating hope for those affected by the disease." As a charitable organization, it is a four star charity and accredited by the Better Business Bureau. I'm not here begging for donations. That is just not my gig, and I have no personal involvement with the organization other than thinking highly of it. What I am here to do is to ask you to check it out, and if not this, check out an organization you feel passionate about. So many good organizations are out there to help raise awareness and funding for the ugliness that touch each of our lives in some way. At this time of the year, particularly this year when I am reasonably healthy, I need to give something back. How about you?

Let there be Joy for the Holidays.

Despite the recent ups and downs in the family, we are marching onward with the holiday joy. The holidays are the one time this family unites and puts aside whatever is going on and spends a few days being joyful. Since I am fortunate to have married a Jewish man and have an interfaith marriage, Hanukkah and Christmas often fall near or during the same week. This year they occur during the same week. We are having a lovely time lighting the candles each night and are looking forward to spending today and tomorrow celebrating Christmas.

Happy Holidays Everyone. See you in a few days.

And Now for Something Completely Different.

Yup, the news is still bad on the Daddy health front. As I type, I'm sitting beside his bed watching him sleep peacefully... finally. I can't betray his dignity by going into details but the last couple of days have been something to behold. Being the sort of girl with a dark and silly sense of humor, I've been looking for ways to find a little levity in every day. We all have. So far, not a single day has disappointed in that respect. Even my sweet daddy has provided some giggles and smiles, heck the amount of cussing and name calling alone he does is cause for me to crack a smile. He is, after all, still an old professional cowboy. So today, while the news continues to be not so good, dare I say bad, just sitting next to my cowboy watching him torture his sitter and nurses with attitude and catching the occasional sparkle in his eye when I notice that sometimes he is completely lucid and doing these things purposely, and he knows he is being ornery... well, it is just another magical moment I get to spend with him watching him draw in his breath. Some day, I am going to feel very thankful for these moments with him. I'm still praying that a recent procedure will help him along enough to prepare for chemo and radiation.

My husband the hero made the twelve hour drive from Chicago yesterday. So glad he is sitting here with me now. This morning, I showed him a recent purchase I made. I've discovered that retail therapy is still, well it is still therapeutic. One of my sisters took a few hours the other day to do a little holiday shopping. This item I brought back for myself. Chicago winters are cold, so I needed a warm hat. Take a look. This is very similar...

It is me, no? Yes! We have all agreed. But I'll be waiting until I get back home to wear it. Here in Alabama it has been in the 50 degree range.

Well, shit. The news is not so good.

She looks so sweet, but she is dangerous. Like me. I'm handing out bitch slaps this week. Careful.

I always feel a bit shy after an absence from the blog. Feeling a little bit like I used to back in school when I would have to take days off to recover from a bout of the flu and the first day back at school was a watered down version of the first day of school. I would stew and fret over what might have changed since I was there last, or in the case of the seventh and eighth grade P.E. class would those two girls who gained so much joy in bullying me because I was not athletic and always picked last for teams be just a little meaner when I came back? They had no idea at the time that I didn't give a shit about being good in volleyball or basketball, and lived for the day when I could concentrate on something besides avoiding their ignorance. Of course, I also didn't know how to express those things properly at the ages of 12 or 13. At that time, I feel sure most kids saw me as a quiet kid, small for my age... awkward and shy. What came across as awkwardness and shyness was, in fact, panic and anxiety. I've dealt with it all my life. I hope my being away for a while hasn't sparked any locker room gossip. The family business of sticking together has caused me to extend my stay here in Alabama until I feel comfortable leaving Daddy.

This past week, while in Alabama with my daddy and Momma, I started out feeling strong. Bitch Slapping Strong. I was ready to take on cancer single handed, on behalf of my dad, and when I was finished with that I was going to take on God himself for bringing this plague on my family. MY family, who has been through so much together how dare he use us as punching bags and hurt the one person in the family who deserves it the least? Sound selfish? You bet your sweet ass. Sorry. I know I'm supposed to be saying the correct things about how God will watch over us, but today my dad went by ambulance to the hospital with his liver shutting down, and all hell is breaking loose and I've seen no sign of God in all his healing glory all week long. Before you begin to wonder, yes dammit. I HAVE been praying. Sincerely. Yes I'm a believer. I think. I thought. I had no reason to doubt until now.

Back to the panic. Regulars who know me know I am panicking at this point. I did very well up until the emotional roller coaster finally crashed the other day. Tonight I've got the butterflies, and tomorrow is another day back in seventh grade. I'm working up the courage to reach inside myself and show myself and everyone else that I am a force to be reckoned with. At least in my own mind...

In a roundabout way, that is where I've been and how I've been and why I've been the way I am. Note... at the expense of others misery, my sisters and I decided today that people watching in the emergency room can be great entertainment. Sorry. I've said before that I'm not always sweet. One lady "passed out" at the triage desk, only to have the nurse check her wrist and the lady lifted her arm. Triage nurse said, "She didn't pass out, she just lifted her arm." To which patient replied, "Nuh-uh. I'm passed out." My sister and I really needed that comic relief at that moment and had to turn our heads we were laughing so hard. A little while later I spied evidence of inbreeding or could it have been a Yeti? Apparently the expression on my face was very easy to read, so my oldest sister punched my shoulder to remind me to be polite,(because I'm ten?????) I didn't realize I was being rude. Sorry lady, mythical creature. Really. And Sister? That was my shoulder with the shitty rotator cuff... so you got me. You got me good. Or was that God? I'm going back to my nice place now.

If I have offended anyone... for pity's sake please don't comment.

So many things on my mind.

I'm up way too late, knee deep in deep thoughts. I'm not feeling profound, nor am I feeling that I have much to say, but I put together the above collage which speaks volumes of what I am thinking and conflicted about.

*My apologies to any artists whose work I took without permission. I usually try to acknowledge, unless artist's work is under creative commons. Please let me know if I've made a mistake and I will take any unauthorized items down. Thanks.

While I was out.

Before I left town yesterday to fly south to be with my Alabama family during a family emergency, I was deep in the throes of holiday decorating. I had completed everything except putting up the tree. My sweet husband asked if I needed him to take care of anything while I was gone, I told him I would really love to come home to the tree being lit up. Today he emailed this photo to me. Thank you so much, Markie. Get over here and give me a big hug. I love you.

Out.

The above photo has absolutely nothing to do with anything at all. The wordplay on the sign makes me smile, and oh how I like the way my face feels when I smile after a long day of worry

and travel prep. Hopping on a plane first thing in the morning to see the folks and lend a helping hand where I can. I can not wait to wrap my arms around my parents. That's all I have to say about that, as the character Forest Gump would say. He is so simple, yet so profound. See you soon from way down south.

I am NOT angry at God. I am NOT ANGRY AT GOD!

Because if I WERE angry at God, then that would be wrong, wouldn't it? Feels like it would be anyway. A forbidden emotion, something the church of my youth wouldn't have approved of. If I did get angry at God for not watching over my daddy, and answering my fervent prayers to keep HIS hand over my daddy's health, if I DID get angry because today my daddy was diagnosed with a large malignant tumor on his pancreas, will fire and brimstone really rain down on me? Because if that is the case, I'm calling Bullshit on that. Fine. Rain on me. Bring it on. I'm standing, looking up in the sky arms open wide screaming WHY? You know what? I AM angry. I am really damn angry. I just don't know that I'm angry at God. And my next sentence is probably going to be... it's just not fair. That was predictable. But so damn true.

I Fought the Garage Door and it was a Draw.

These words should be painted on my garage door. I dashed out this morning to meet a friend for a lunch date... running a few minutes late as I always am, hit the garage door opener as usual on my way out the mudroom door expecting the garage door to go up and what happens? Not a hell of a lot. WTF. The door is just stranded halfway up and the motor to the opener is pathetically whining this little half ass groan. Well, I'm resourceful and remember what that red chord is for, so I pull on it and manually open the door and get my car out of the garage and manually close the door. Exciting stuff, huh? Not so much, really. I would feel so much better about this if I weren't already in a state of disgust about the garage to begin with. For the life of me, I'll never figure out why our "two car" garage barely fits two smallish cars with barely a foot between them. I might understand this if our neighborhood were built in another time, but our 'hood is fairly new, the homes are largish and built in the age of SUV's. Since the hero and I don't drive SUV's, we are one of the few couples on the block who can actually park IN our garage, so why the hell am I even complaining? I don't know. Perhaps I'm still cranky in the head and because I had to fight the garage door and a sidewalk this week. Wow, whine lately Melanie?

I did make it to my lunch date on time and had a lovely Italian lunch, followed by a leisurely drive home in the snow. The pretty kind of snow. Oh, I did get sidetracked at one store on my way home... I found some very cool fingerless gloves to wear inside for my never warm hands and some nifty ear muffs to help keep that nagging Chicago wind out of my right ear.

Tomorrow we make an appt. for the dumb ass garage door opener to be fixed. Of course it is never convenient for things to break, so it is what it is. Like I said, I'm cranky about it and tomorrow is a new day.

Big things happening tomorrow... much much bigger than any old door. My daddy is having some major tests run tomorrow. If anyone who reads this blog prays... please say one for his health. I would be so grateful for your thoughts and prayers for him.

Woman Gets a Beatdown by a Snowy Sidewalk.

One sidewalk. Seemed harmless enough at the time, although to its credit it was covered in a few inches of heavy wet snow. But still, one damn sidewalk. Do you mean to tell me that after weeks of unpacking boxes and lugging furniture around to place it just so, and hanging heavy pictures, and scrubbing every freaking inch of this house top to bottom including the garage, that the thing that finally puts my ass down hard is shoveling one damn sidewalk? Really? Hmmm. I don't really know what to think about that, but it makes my head cranky and I actually just woke up at noon feeling much much older than my age. I'm going to go take some more Tylenol, then I might go kick that sidewalk out of spite, since kicking myself for being so out of shape would be both awkward and likely make things worse. Oh, and once again... Hero told me not to shovel the sidewalk. In his infinite wisdom, he said it would make my back worse. So, true to form I was stubborn. Hero, you were right I was wrong. There. One of these days I might start listening to you.

Finding Ways to Take the Pain Out of Holiday Shopping

Black Friday, Cyber Monday, the holiday frenzy has officially begun. Now that we've given Thanks with our families, we've rushed the stores for deals and some folks have generally acted like criminals in the process. I'm sure you've caught the incident about the Walmart worker who was trampled to death on Friday in the news. I won't rehash that, it makes me sick and angry. People in crowds behave like animals. God I hate crowds.

This year, Hero and I restrained ourselves. Our only shopping on Black Friday was in the form of our weekly trip to Costco to pick up essentials, items needed to make homemade dog food and we did end up picking up a couple of books to read by the fire. We put the boys on the train headed for Chicago's Magnificent Mile so they could check out some of the sights of the city and do some shopping. They reported that the stores were not that busy, but they both came back with great deals. My son scored a great Guess coat for sixty bucks at Macy's. A Penguin T-shirt for sixteen dollars, and a sweater for a steal. His buddy got a couple of Lucky T-shirts for seven bucks apiece at Nordstrom. The deals are out there if you are looking for them!

Being on a tighter budget this year, I'm still working out my plan for Holiday shopping. I normally don't buy into the Black Friday panic shopping, except to get into the holiday spirit. It is fun. The prices always go down in the weeks closer to the holidays, with a few exceptions... certain retailers who never do markdowns and do specials only for the Holiday Kick Off. Those are not my targets, so I ignore them. I worked in retailing for many years and witnessed the panic of the companies I worked for trying to meet last year sales numbers. Generally, they try very hard to do this by marking down and moving more product. Its fairly common sense stuff. The mark up is high, there is a big cushion to make a profit. This is the reason I never pay full retail for anything. Everything I'm looking for eventually goes on sale. If it doesn't, I'm not looking for it. I'm moving on.

I'm not an economist, so I won't even try to discuss jump starting the economy by spending money. I don't really agree with spending money you don't have, and I don't agree with overspending through the holidays and spending January depressed and blue with buyer's remorse.

I will discuss being thrifty, looking for deals, being creative, looking for alternative ideas. I enjoy online shopping (hate crowds) and Coupon Cabin offers a good roundup of coupons you can use online and coupons available to print and take with you. Check out Cheap Uncle, as well. If you are looking to enjoy a meal out or would like to gift a meal, or ten, check out Restaurant.com. Amazing deals there and I believe Coupon Cabin or Cheap Uncle is offering a discount code for them right now, making their already amazing deals more so. (Thanks Steph for turning me on to them!). I'm also looking at Etsy this year for some gifts. I love the creative energy I see in the folks who sell their wares there.

Hero and I have already gifted each other this year. We've purchased books and a snow thrower. The snow thrower may come in handy very very soon! After hearing that this area was pummeled with 84" of snow last winter, we decided both our bad backs and my rotator cuff that is on its last leg just can't handle a winter of shoveling out of that kind of snow. I'm sort of exited to fire it up! Right now it is a novelty. I'll hate it in another couple months. I know. I know.

Here's to hoping everyone has a fantastic Cyber Monday!

World Aids Day '08

Today is World Aids Day 08. Bloggers all over the world are uniting to spread the word about Aids. At this time in our history, there is abundant information available yet, still the disease marches on. We can help. We can start by simply making the resources available out there for people to see. We can also donate our time or money. I'm not talented at many things, but I am very talented at stating the obvious. Aids is a big deal. So today, do something small. Wear a red ribbon to raise awareness. Or, do something large. A grand gesture. Talk to a friend about HIV testing, (see Link below) or making a donation, or perhaps just picking up a gift from the RED store online, (Link provided below.)

Information about Aids

HIV Testing near you!

Product RED