Labor Day Wishes

The long weekend will wrap up tomorrow with Labor day, the traditional winding down of summer, the day our family gets together for the last family BBQ of the summer season. I can't believe August is over, and September is here already. If all goes well, we should be in our new house in just a little over a month. So much change is about to happen. Our season is ending here in Kansas City. We are beginning a new season of our lives beginning in October.

I'm taking the day off tomorrow from blogging, but everyone have a lovely, safe and happy Labor Day!

Feelin' the Love, Even if it is a Bit Odd

So tonight the Hero and I have killed half and hour or so watching VH1 Classics. Exciting stuff, Huh? Actually yes, I've felt a little thrill and sense of sentimentality while watching, due to the fact that the entire time it has been showcasing Michael Jackson in what I, and likely millions of aging baby boomers who grew up with MJ, remember as the golden years. I get a little excited and have a hard time sitting still watching the videos BILLY JEAN, BAD and BEAT IT. Makes me want to get up and dance. As we were watching, the thought occurred to me that the THRILLER album was released when I was my son's age now. Then for some reason I felt a little sad, because MJ was so cool back in 1982. Then I realized how he has changed over the years. Life throws hard balls at all of us, Mike. It does.


But what HAPPENED to you? I'll leave it at that, because its not for me to judge you. I'll leave that to the judicial system and to your GOD.

But THRILLER was awesome, and a fantastic time period in my personal history. So, thanks for that.

Funny. I did not set out this evening to post about Michael Jackson, but somehow the red jacket and the beat of the music and the moonwalk just took my mind to a different time. So odd...

'Till tomorrow...

Dirty Laundry Can be a Milestone

http://www.jo-mamas.com

(I have no idea who Jo-mama's is, but I adore their sign.)

So, today is the first time my kid, my precious, my sorely missed nearly nineteen year old son, came home after his first week being away from home after moving off to college. Do you know what I was excited about all day? Aside from seeing him, hugging him, checking him out to make sure he has been eating okay and asking him all the obvious questions about how dorm life is, and how his classes are going... I've been excited to do his laundry again. So crazy, I KNOW! He arrived home while hero and I were out to dinner with our other son and his girlfriend, and when we came back home later I was comforted to see that Trey had been home, changed his clothes, left a pair of shoes right in the middle of the kitchen floor, eaten a hot pocket, left his laptop on the kitchen counter along with his bag, and plate and crumbs from dinner, the remnants of his opened mail and deposited a huge hamper full of dirty clothes for me in the laundry room and left to attend a party. I can't tell you the huge wave of relief I felt and sense of normalcy that just came over me after walking in and seeing this.

Feels normal, feels like this is home again. Feels like all the pieces fit. So, I'm going to take my time doing his laundry this weekend and enjoy every last minute of it. In another month or so, he won't be able to bring his laundry home so easily, unless he would like to drive eleven or so hours. This is a milestone weekend, though. All of us who went away to college and came home with bags of dirty clothes looking for hugs and cash from parents after that first week or two the freshman year may be able to relate. Now I know what my parents were feeling like. And I'm thankful to be feeling so full of love and appreciation today. I'm also very thankful for something else. I'm thankful that he didn't bring home one of these:

Because that would have caused some tension within the family for a little while until we sorted things out. As in, What the Hell?

Life is a Roller Coaster

One day I am floating along peacefully with all my ducks in a row, the world seems brighter and it seems as if the stress and panic of recent months are soon to be in my rear view mirror as we make plans to drive away, windows down, dog by my side... breeze in my hair, headed for a new life and a new dream home.

The next day, I am caught by surprise that something as simple as a quibble over a chimney flue can possibly take my dream away and keep me here, beginning the process over again. If ever given the opportunity to complete my plans to drive away, windows down, dog by my side... breeze in my hair... it will most likely be with my hand out the window flashing a most unladylike sign at this house for all the trouble it has been. Don't even get me started on what kind of voodoo hoodoo thoughts are going through my mind pointed at a certain set of people. Again, not ladylike.

This better all work out, because I am beginning to feel that I am riding on the world's craziest roller coaster downhill at 70 mph. Let's make that a wooden roller coaster. One that termites have gotten the best of. I. Am. Not. Cut. Out. For. This.

Friends, Hero, you had better formulate a plan to save me from myself. I'm about ready to tumble off the edge.

Love Story

Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be, the last of life, for which the
first was made.- Robert Browning

Many years ago, back in 1978, a handsome young crazy hot guy was cruisin' the campus of the University of Kansas for his dream girl. He was the complete package. Tall, dark, handsome... smart too!

Coincidentally, around that same time, a fifteen year old girl with a very unfortunate hair style was searching the halls of her high school, on the other side of the state line, looking for HER one true love.

It would be years before the crazy hot guy and the girl with the unfortunate hair style would find each other. The crazy hot guy would first find another girl with a not so unfortunate hair style and marry her and have a son who would become a great lover of all animals great and small.

The girl with the unfortunate hair style would eventually grow up and lose the unnaturally natural hair style in favor of something that suited her face and small frame. She too married, though not someone nearly as crazy hot as our hero, nor as tall dark and handsome. (DUH!) But she too had a son, a talented and funny son who loves his momma.


Twenty-five years after the crazy hot guy was cruisin' the KU campus, looking for just the right girl with the twinkle in her eye, and the young girl with the unfortunate hair style was searching the halls of her high school on the wrong side of the state line, fate intervened and brought a sweet successful single handsome man to meet a nice single working mom for a lunch date at Panera. The two have been inseparable ever since. They decided they should grow old together.

Today the hero of our story is having a birthday. I know he is missing his dog very much. So, in honor of his birthday, I would like to present him with the gift of a portrait of Liz. Especially for her daddy.

The Monday Cop Out Quiz

Copping out today. I'm tired, having a mental health day, and therefore, am resorting to the do it yourselfer of blogging... a quiz. My apologies in advance. Tomorrow I hope to be back in better form with a more lively post! Though, tomorrow is a travel day... so don't count on it. Sorry peeps. Creativity is slim pickins lately for me!

Complete The Statements...

My dream house could be described as:: where my family feels welcome.

A million dollars would best be used:: partially invested, partially spent, partially donated to a good cause.

In ten years I will be:: middle aged.

My favorite year/age was___ because:: 2004, age 40. Because I started over.

If I could just kiss:: Hmmmm.

If I could rid the world of one thing it would be:: Seriously just one thing? Okay, hatred.

At Starbucks I normally order:: Grande Soy decaf latte. 2 packs of raw sugar.

The best dream I ever had involved:: An ethereal misty cloudy mountain valley, a wedding party and pogo sticks.

My favorite photograph:: One in which my son was a baby and smiling.

The most recent phone call I received:: From my husband.

When I hear the word 'eject' I automatically think of:: cassette tapes. I'm old.
I can only compare the feeling of being loved to:: happiness.

The most fun I ever had was:: Too hard. I've had a lot of fun in my life.

I want to visit ___ because:: My family in Alabama because I love it when we are all together.

If I could travel back in time I would:: Go to Europe during the middle ages.

In my favorite book, the main character:: I have so many books I love, but the main characters with the ones I love are usually similar... quirky, strong, creative and humorous in some way.

Two songs that would be on the soundtrack of my life would be:: I can't think of just two!

I will never ever:: Say never.

If my house was burning down one thing I would definitly grab would be:: My dog.

My romantic status is currently:: Married

My best friend is:: My sisters

I love:: Mark, my dog, my family

This one time I was at the beach and:: It was absolutely peaceful.

Piericings are:: A personal choice.

The one person I can always count on is:: My husband

Wal-Mart is:: The evil empire.

The most over used phrase would have to be:: It is not nice enough to print here. Sorry!

The one CD I can listen to without skipping is:: Rolling Stones Forty Licks

My bedroom is missing:: I love my bedroom! It is missing nothing.

Fill out this survey yourself
Find a different survey
Brought to you by Bzoink

Much to my surprise...

I don't have photo credit for this, I don't remember where I found it but it is gorgeous and I would HAPPILY live in it!

We decided on a house, The house actually, a dream house. The house in our new state, our new village, our new neighborhood, our new dream tree house. We extended an offer, they counter offered, we accepted. Contracts were signed and closing is set for October 3. Things are lining up for us and our ducks are in a row... seems too good to be true, so I'm in a very stunned frame of mind. Feeling shell shocked, numb. I know I should be jumping up and down and feeling joyful, instead I'm feeling guarded and nervous. Normal? I have no idea. In a day or two it will all sink in. I think I feel a twinge of relief surfacing though, and that is fantastic.

Something lovely about ducks swimming in a row, isn't there?

We' ve narrowed down the home search.

We looked at many houses today. But the good news is we have narrowed down our search to six possibilities. Tomorrow we will go back and see a couple on the top of the list. What follows are a list of houses. What do you think?

Phillip Johnson's Glass house. Beautiful and historic, though not practical for us. Besides, you know what they say about people who live in glass houses...

**Deleted**


How about an Escher house? Seems absolutely exhausting.

**Deleted**



OH! A tree house! I've always wanted a tree house! Impractical yes, but oh so lovely.

**Deleted**



Hmmm. An upside down house. It fits. I feel upside down much of the time.

**Deleted**

An abandoned UFO house? Definitely unique!

**Deleted**

A toilet shaped house. The irony is too good for me to ignore, given my situation. I especially enjoy the observation deck on the roof!

**Deleted**

You all will be the first to know if we decide on something and make an offer.

Ambien Blogging, Part II

Need to be sleeping now, but I've committed myself to Nablopomo for a post a day for a month. So, while I'm blurry eyed and my thoughts are muddy, and I'm having one hell of a case of the hiccups... HUH? Seriously, what the hell hiccups, go away, you bother me. Really.

Can we talk? I'm just feeling the love for you three lovely peeps. Despite my incessant whining and going on and on and maybe not so idle threats to run away from home recently, seems you like me anyway. I won't run far or forever. I'm just feeling like a caged dog. A lonely caged dog. I need to run free in the fresh air and chase squirrels or lie in the grass and stop thinking for the time being of decisions and taking on responsibilities. Each one is beginning to feel heavier and heaver. I'm not cut out to live my life alone. I never have been. A day here, a weekend there no problem at all. Living apart from my Hero for months at a time is becoming too much. I'll go ahead and shamelessly admit that I'm the kind of woman who needs to be taken care of. I need to be, I want to be, it is who I am. I reciprocate, which is the beauty of the type of marriage hero and I have. I don't know how he is feeling about this separation, but he is stronger than I. I'm weak . Gah.

Dropped the kid off today, he is sick. I made sure to lecture him on the evils of smoking during his bout with bronchitis. I know he is dying to get out soon to smoke a hookah.

I know he knows he shouldn't ... I just couldn't resit being a MOM and reminding him.

On a more uplifting (to me, anyway) note, Trey has a friend who was able to move into the dorm yesterday. The Friend's roommate went to a Greek welcome back party and got very drunk. This morning, Trey's friend decided to open up the shared fridge in the dorm room for a drink after he woke up and found a surprise. Apparently the drunk roommate mistook the fridge for the ... latrine... and took a nice early morning poo in the fridge. That dude is already on probation and school hasn't even started. Trey told me today at lunch that he couldn't wait to tell me because he knew I would laugh my, um, ass off. True. Certain parts of me have never grown up. And it is funny. Very wrong, yet very funny. So now you have more reasons to look askance at me. I'm a dork. I'm silly. I'm a bad influence. Eh...

Just Wishing, and Hoping...

That someday my dreams come true.

Way Back Wednesday

As I believe I have mentioned, yes I know I must have mentioned it so many times you people are bored with me mentioning it, but I am compelled to mention it again... my baby, my precious baby is heading off to college tomorrow. For his freshman year. So, I thought I would pause, and reflect... yes just remembering what was going on in the world when I was heading off to college back in August of 1981.

The following list taken from Wikipedia:

August 1 - MTV (Music Television) is launched on cable television in the United States.

August 3 - The Professional Air Traffic Controllers Organization (PATCO) goes on strike.
August 5 - Ronald Reagan fires 11,359 striking air-traffic controllers who ignored his order for them to return to work.
August 7 - The Washington Star ceases all operations after 128 years of publication.
August 9 - Major League Baseball resumes from strike with the All-Star Game in Cleveland's Municipal Stadium.
August 12 - The original Model 5150 IBM PC with a 4.77 MHz Intel 8088 processor is released in the United States at a base price of $1,565.

August 19 - Gulf of Sidra incident (1981): Libyan leader Muammar al-Gaddafi sends 2 Sukhoi Su-22 fighter jets to intercept 2 U.S. fighters over the Gulf of Sidra. The American jets destroy the Libyan fighters.
August 19 - U.S. President Ronald Reagan appoints the first female U.S. Supreme Court Justice, Sandra Day O'Connor.
August 24 - Mark David Chapman is sentenced to 20 years to life imprisonment after being convicted of murdering John Lennon in Manhattan eight months ago.

August 28 - South African troops invade Angola.
August 31 - A bomb explodes at the U.S. Air Force base in Ramstein, West Germany, injuring 20 people.

So, today's college freshmen have never known life without MTV, or PC's. They don't remember a time when there was a West Germany vs. East Germany. Too bad countries are still invading each other and wars continue in the middle east. Some things change and others have stayed the same. Despite the world around us, I'm certain that a few things haven't changed, such as parents having trouble letting go and kids being anxious to test their independence. Good for all of us. Lessons will be learned and I'm never too old to learn a thing or two. Tomorrow begins that adventure.

Tranquil Tuesday

RUSHING MOUNTAIN STREAM© Ken Cole Dreamstime.com

Next year, I'm asking for a trip to the mountains for my birthday. When I feel stressed or overwhelmed with life, my mind conjures up images like the one above and I feel calmer just remembering how much I love places like this. Oh how I love places like this...so much so, that if it were not for responsibilities, I would be in my car driving west right now!

Feeling Manic on Monday

There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why.
- William Barclay

On the eve of my birthday, I'm feeling a little bit introspective. As I've gone on and on about... most likely nauseatingly to the readers ( I really do love you three!), life is feeling upside down lately, the earth is spinning the opposite direction on it's axis, I'm panicked to the point where I'm choking back bile and concentrating on breathing deeply and trying to hide or steady my shaky hands. I'm worried about everything from minor nothings to major somethings. I'm sick of my own complaining, even when it is only in my own head. Seriously. The wonderful news. Today was a great day.

I flew home this morning from Chicago, my flight was on time and arrived in KC early! My best dog friend was happy to see me when I picked her up at the pet resort and greeted me with a smile and a waggy tail. When I arrived at my house, my son was up and in the shower getting ready to spend the afternoon with me. I didn't even have to call and ask him to wake up!

Seems like a mundane thing, really, I spent the afternoon with my son, just shopping for clothes for him and getting some gear for his dorm room and laughing and joking and sharing stories. The kind of day that is rare and perfect for me. Simple and what being a mom to me is about. Just being there. And at some point today it dawned on me why I've never been able to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. I have been what I want to be all along. A mom to my wonderful kid. So, what a gift!

Now please don't be thinking that I haven't always been thankful for my fabulous son. Quite the opposite. But in my younger years, like my twenties and thirties, ambition played a big role in my life. I see now, how things may have been unbalanced. I'm telling you, I am slow to see the big picture sometimes. Like, DUH slow. Really. I. Can't. Dwell. On that.

I love my son so much, I'm just feeling misty eyed because he is moving away to college this week, and I'm feeling incompetent and see paragraph number 1 and we can just go round and round in circles here. No, let's not. We'll just stop there and I'll go away feeling like I have the best gift ever, my great kid.

Heading Home Tomorrow

Heading back home tomorrow from Hero's place, exhausted, overwhelmed, and still no house to tell you about. Unrealistic perhaps, but I was hoping to fall in love with something and extend an offer.

I'll be back next weekend for more frantic, marathon, house shopping.

In the mean time, it will be all about getting my baby ready for college. We have things to do. Odds and Ends to gather up and buy. We must make a list and check it twice.

Right now, I must go watch Mad Men. Remember, Sunday nights are HOT!

Feeling Hopeful

Let your hook always be cast; in the pool where you least expect it, there will be a fish. ~ Ovid

I'm hopeful. Today we looked at several houses and townhouses in the town we like for the character, location, amenities etc. We saw one house that might work, and one townhouse that we like if we decided to go that route. Hero and I both feel that a house would just be best for us. We decided to cast the net out further and see what we came up with and found to our surprise a nice list of homes to see tomorrow in different areas. Several right here in the town where Hero is living now. We drove by them tonight just to see the neighborhood, they seem nice. We'll see what tomorrow brings when we can get inside and look. We were avoiding this area due to high taxes, but we'll have to see how it all works out.

Tonight we had to relax our brains and unwind. We decided to watch Harold and Kumar 2 for laughs. Yes folks, I'm the original Harold and Kumar fan. Please don't think less of me for it. It's just a glitch somewhere in my brain that makes me like those guys so much.

Off to rest up for more house shopping tomorrow!

So Many Choices

Hmmm. Where to live, where to live. The choices seem practically unlimited. Perhaps it would be easiest to pin the map to the wall and just spin around until we are dizzy and point at a place and move to that town. Tomorrow we spend the day looking at houses in an area we like a lot. Today we found more houses we'd like to see in other towns. We should be able to see some of those Sunday.

Clock is ticking. Me being me with the anxiety, and Hero being Hero with the OCD and spreadsheets, comparing every detail imaginable, neither of us will get a decent night's sleep until something is decided and a plan is in the works and we know we have some place to go before October 2.

Among the many good things that have happened this week... which has turned out amazing, I cannot complain, I saw the Doc yesterday and was put on some additional meds (belly-steroids) to hopefully get my latest flare of belly wackiness back under control. I have taken these on and off for a few years and they help pretty quickly. So soon... no more poopin' the bed Fred. Hee!

Maybe I Shouldn't Tell You This, But...

Dear nameless, faceless, anonymous viewers of our beautiful home.

You have all been very nice and have been respectful as you have visited our home with your agents and it seems you complied with our request to wear the little blue booties provided by the front door, so that your shoes wouldn't soil the brand new carpet we had installed especially for a new buyer. It could have been you! Your agents remarks on our feedback page of our realtor's website have been nothing but glowing, I am sorry we couldn't help out the couple looking for a walk-out basement or a reverse story-1/2. I do hope you found those things. I have been very flattered with all the other remarks, though. Thank you so much. I am very happy that the couple that looked at our house on Sunday not once, but two times liked it so much that they decided to purchase it. It seems that even in this market, there really are people out there who act fast. I could not be more delighted. I do have to apologize to the people on the queue for 2:00 this upcoming Sunday. Too late, the house is Sold. In fact, our agent posted a "SOLD FAST!" sign on the yard sign today. 24 days. Not too shabby, this house is is hot!

If anything happens to spoil this deal, I will be broken hearted. But for today... happy and thankful are the words. Headed to Chicago tomorrow to find a house. We are outta this one on October 2.

The Birhday Wish List

This year for the very first time since I was young, very young, I have a birthday wish list. This may please Hero, or not, since some of my items lean more toward the keep wishing realm than the reality realm. But hey, at least this year I won't answer " oh, I don't know. I don't really want or need anything. Just surprise me." to his "What would you like for your birthday, sweetie?" After taking a closet inventory, I've realized it may be hot now, but it turns out I do need a few items for the upcoming season.

The above Inishmore Sweater Coat from Anthropologie, 268.00

The above Lion Gate Sweater from Anthropologie, 148.00

I Like:

Persimmon
by Born

The above Born boots in Black Full-Grain Leather, 169.00

I Like:

Moray
by Privo

The above flats by Privo in Chocolate, 89.oo.

Other items on my wish list:

• The perfect pair of dark wash jeans, in the perfect length with no whiskering, striation, pleats, creases, crazy contrasting thread, rhinestones, or built in curves. Just the perfect dark wash with perfectly placed pockets to make me look like I have an ass. Oh, and if its not too much to ask, making me look like I have an awesome ass would be great.
• A few new cashmere sweaters.
• A new handbag. This is a tough one, much like the jeans I'm picky. Not too large, not too heavy, the right length handle, no bling allowed, just simple, quality and perfect.
• Jewelry. Bling welcomed. This is the only acceptable place for bling on my person, the jewelry. Although, to be honest, I don't wear that much jewelry. But I can be persuaded to change.
• New slippers. My feet are already cold and it is still August.
• Finally, I want someone to buy my house. I will be willing to settle for a celebration dinner for my birthday if that were to happen in the next six days! Even one that includes a Red Robin free birthday entree! (Hero I know you will be getting that email soon...)

**Sorry about the appearance of the Zappo's shoes sequence here. The Html got messed up and when I tried to fix it, this is what happened. If I mess with it longer, well I will just end up knifing myself in the head and that is not worth it now is it?!

Hot digity dog. My brain is still working after all.

Sorry for the slow news day here at Hello New Life! Seems my mind is moving about as slow as walking through sludge. As I believe I mentioned earlier this week, I'm just not feeling on top of the world physically. No big, but it happens. So... here is a little test I ran across this morning. Seems both my hemispheres are operating just fine. Take it, see if you are a righty or a lefty.

Brain Lateralization Test Results

Right Brain (48%) The right hemisphere is the visual, figurative, artistic, and intuitive side of the brain. Left Brain (50%) The left hemisphere is the logical, articulate, assertive, and practical side of the brain

Are You Right or Left Brained?
personality tests by similarminds.com

According to the Similar Minds.com website:

Left brain dominant individuals are more orderly, literal, articulate, and to the point. They are good at understanding directions and anything that is explicit and logical. They can have trouble comprehending emotions and abstract concepts, they can feel lost when things are not clear, doubting anything that is not stated and proven.
Right brain dominant individuals are more visual and intuitive. They are better at summarizing multiple points, picking up on what's not said, visualizing things, and making things up. They can lack attention to detail, directness, organization, and the ability to explain their ideas verbally, leaving them unable to communicate effectively.
Overall you appear to have fairly Equal Hemispheres
-----------------------------------------
According to Darwinian theory, optimal evolution takes place with random variation and selective retention. The evolution savvy individual will try many different approaches when faced with a problem and select the best of those approaches. Many historical intellectuals have confessed their advantage was simply considering/exploring/trying more approaches than others. The left brain dominant type suffers from limited approaches, narrow-mindedness. The right brain dominant type suffers from too many approaches, scatterbrained. To maintain balanced hemispheres, you need to exercise both variability and selection. Just as a company will have more chance of finding a great candidate by increasing their applicant pool, an individual who considers a wider set of options is more likely to make quality decisions.

Crazy Hot Jayhawks of the Class of 1979

These silly goofballs. Roommates at KU, dear friends to this day. Don't you love their decor ala 1979? The Happy Hooker Goes to Washington poster is priceless. I love these people. Pictured are Gary, Ron, Howard, Hero and Sweet Julie cuddled on the sofa. She is married to Ron. They are the parents of the young man whose Bar Mitzvah we recently celebrated, as well as two other fantastic young men. One of them a KU alum himself.

Fast forward twenty five years. *This photo was taken in 2004. Same crew, names are the same, only the faces have changed, and the location... as this was the reception of the wedding of the Hero and myself. I'm sure everyone's circumstances have changed as well, but one thing that hasn't changed is the friendships these folks all share. They have known each other since high school, and the foundation of their love for one another never seems to waiver. I've been lucky enough to feel included into their open friendly arms. I feel thankful.

*I believe one of the guys superimposed the wedding photo onto the old photo for effect. As lovely as that sounds, our wedding decor did NOT include any Happy Hooker posters. Heh.

You Can Call Me Fred, But I Wish You Wouldn't!

Okay, so never in a million lifetimes would I have thought my frequent use of the phrase "shit the bed Fred" would come back to bitch slap me right in the most undignified way. As most of you know, all three of you who read and whom I appreciate and adore, I have a most unpleasant disease in the family of inflammatory bowel diseases. (That would explain why I put a badge down on the right side of my blog to bring attention to these illnesses and how regular folks can do things to bring awareness and raise money for research for treatments and cures.) Anyway, since I am not here to blog about my illness because I am not about my illness and it does not define who I am, or at least I try to make that my goal, something has been happening recently that has never happened during the years I have been dealing with this illness, which is Colitis.

I pooped the bed. Go ahead and giggle, snicker, laugh. Seriously, because it is kinda funny! I mean I laughed, after I got over the shock the first time. And Hero? Thank God he is out of town, because that saves just a tiny bit of my dignity, but really? You know what? You can lose your dignity when you are all alone. That's why I'm putting this out here. I pooped the bed. It was not my fault, I didn't do anything to make it happen, there was nothing I could have done to prevent it, and I had no idea that could ever happen to me. Then you know what happened next? I pooped the bed again. Two nights later. What the hell. At that point, I didn't have any dignity left at all. And yes, I was so broken up about it I called the Hero at nearly 2:00 a.m. because I needed to share just how low things had gotten. Poor guy, what the heck is he supposed to do or say? True to form, he said soothing things, acted concerned and worried and was probably thankful for being many miles away from home. Hell, I don't blame him one bit!

Today, Hero decided that he can call me Fred. Since I shit the bed. I guess you can too, but I wish you wouldn't. But you can laugh... because really when a person has a bowel disease, while it is a serious thing, it is all about the potty and when we were young and immature didn't we all enjoy a little potty humor?

P.S. Hero? May I buy 2 new pairs of jammie pants? Suddenly, my pajama drawer is light on inventory. K. Thanks!

I'm Superior!

64 As a 1930s wife, I am Superior Take the test!

Look at me, in 1930's terms, I'm a superior wife! That means I can go head to head with my grandmothers in some freaky housewife competition. Well, I could never go head to head with one of my grandmothers if she were taking this test. She was the Wife with a capital W. She also wasn't human. Sorry, may she rest in peace. But all in all, its a fun little quiz. Controversial as it is in this time in our social history, I've honestly never been happier in my life than I have been during the years when I have not been working, instead choosing to stay at home and take care of my family and home. Not preaching one way or another on the whole work vs. stay at home issue. That is def not what this is about, peeps. Besides, my kids are in college or about to be. I am an official emty nester. So, no defensiveness k? Trust me, I worked my ass off for twenty plus years, so I've seen both sides of the fence. Listen to me, I sound like I'm arguing with myself. I have strong emotions about both sides, but the stronger emotions lie on the side where I think I was born in the wrong era. In a nutshell, I want to actually be a 1930's housewife. I know with a little practice I could be better than superior, I could actually be excellent and give my grandmother who was a Wife with a capital W a total run for her money.

Dang, I need a time machine. No, I don't have a grudge against my Grandmother, who passed years ago...may she rest in peace. I have emotional scars. She left quite a trail of them in her wake. The irony? She has influenced my life in so many positive ways, disregarding the negatives, that I think of her hundreds of times each day. In so many ways I'm like her, the good side of her. My biggest fear is becoming the ugly side of her. Wow, got a little introspective there for a minute.

Anyway, go, take the quiz, have a little fun. There is one for husbands too. See how you measure up! Go on, get out of here. But come back. Tell me how you did!

Serene Saturday

Rain Drops - originally uploaded on Flickr by Energetic Spirit

After all my whining and complaining recently about the heat, and how hot it is in Kansas City in August, today has been the picture perfect day for being serene, cool and calm. The day started with rain, the afternoon brought partly cloudy skies and temps in the mid seventies. My dog and I had a perfectly pleasant time finding things to do for a couple of hours out of the house this morning. A stop at Sonic for a peach tea, a little drive around our town so she could see the sights, a quick drive by the house to spy on the folks looking at my house (couldn't resist), then it was off to the park to sit in the car and read a book while the pup napped in the back seat. Too bad it was raining, or she could have had a nice walk today. It was a good day.

She is Not That Nice. But She Tries.

Because I think I mentioned once on this blog that I can be a little bit snarky, not saying it is my best quality but I've admitted it twice now, and because this week has been particularly taxing on me both emotionally and for some reason health wise (please don't worry I will not bore you with the details) I have been a little cranky in the head. I say in the head because one of my New Years Resolutions this year was to try and not say EVERY little thing that pops into my mind out loud, and think first. EVERY little thing often includes those little hateful observations you make about people you don't even know. Please don't tell me I'm the only one who admits to having those ugly thoughts. Come on people! Life is a constant struggle and we cannot always all be Pollyanna. This whole paragraph makes me think of a friend of mine, Julie, who said one time about me to a group of people, "She is NOT that nice you guys." It was said in a funny context, but it was also true to a certain extent. We are all multi- faceted. I always smile a little when I think of that day, I was standing right there at the time. So, today I will keep it real with y'all. Here is a peek inside my cranky little mind.

Random unspoken thoughts from today:

9 a.m. phone rings and wakes me up. It is Centralized Showing to tell me I have a showing Tomorrow on the house from 11 to 1. My thought, "Why the hell does it take 2 freaking hours to look at a house, and what am I and the dog going to do for 2 damn hours." Then, "OHHH, maybe they have already SEEN the house and are coming back to take another look!" Followed by, "No, that realtor name doesn't sound familiar, this must be a first timer. Shit. What am I going to do, me and the dog for 2 freaking hours."

In the check out line at the grocery. Woman in front of me with a cart full of fresh produce and assorted foods from the perimeter of the store stares at the items I put on the conveyor which consist of 12 Campell's cup of soup, 10- 32 oz bottles of Gatorade, a jar of spaghetti sauce, pasta shells, Kraft Mac and Cheese. My thought, "What? No we don't eat healthy on optimal days, but this is all post oral surgery food. Back off." Instead, I just smiled at her.

No, this one I can't even publish. It just involves a tennis outfit and a person I guarantee hasn't seen a tennis court in years, if ever. Lycra really does have limitations and they have been exceeded here.

Took my broken pantry door into the Furniture Medic. No lie. That is the name of the business. These were the nicest people I have dealt with or spoken to in the service industry all week. When they gave me the estimate for the repair, which is only $45 I was ecstatic.
My thought driving home: "Damn, why didn't I know about these guys before now. I would have fixed every broken piece of furniture I ever had. They are awesome!"

When I told my son he would need to get up early tomorrow morning so we could be out of the house, my kid who usually sleeps well past noon on the weekends, cough, every day, brightly said to me, "its cool, Mom." My thought: "I will never get over loving this big ole kid just like he is my baby."

That wraps up our first addition of random thoughts, or a peek into my mind. See, I managed a few good thoughts today!

Thank Goodness for Little Boys

I am so blessed to have four nephews, each amazing in their own unique way. Take Dan, just look at him. He is so lucky to have this lush head of hot maroon? hair. I jest of course. What do you call those hats? This one is some kind of thing celebrating Alabama. Off topic, sorry. Daniel is so funny. He has a great sense of humor, very dry. Very deadpan. He has been that way since he was a toddler. My favorite story about Daniel happened when he was three and I was expecting my son. My nephews Dan and his twin brother Josh had seemed very oblivious to my swelling belly for most of my pregnancy, but they were very young. One day I walked into my sister's house on a Sunday, and sweet little Daniel must have been told or figured out that a baby was on the way. He ran up to me so excitedly and our conversation went like this:

Daniel: Auntie Melanie! Auntie Melanie!

Me: What!

Daniel: You got a baby in that belly?

Me: Um, Well, Yes I guess I do!

Daniel: (grabbing my shirt) C'mon... pull up your shirt. I wanna see the baby.

Well, the baby showed up not too long after that. Daniel and my Trey have always had a special bond. When I was young, before I had children, I always said I wanted five boys. So, between children and nephews I ended up with six boys and a girl. Such luck!

Above the "baby" and Dan last Christmas trading gifts.

Wisdom Teeth Wednesday

My baby, my eighteen year old baby, had his wisdom teeth removed today. For me, it has not been nearly as traumatic as it has been for him. Poor guy. Seriously. Seems he may have some trouble with certain types of anesthesia, but I don't want to go into that here. He will be just fine and since I am too physically and emotionally exhausted to be clever tonight, how about a celebration of those fun foods we all enjoyed after having our impacted teeth removed!

Andy Warhol yesterday, Andy Warhol today. I know, but I like the guy. This one, 1965. Tomato Soup is good for what ails you.

mmmm, puddin! Those old Bill Cosby commercials were priceless.


I could go for a bowl of this right now! But no, this is for the kid.

So, I'm more than a little creeped out by the shape of these jello molds but perhaps I'm just reading something into it. I buy jello pre-made in the little cups. I'm not much of a do-it-your-selfer when it comes to tiny multi colored phallic shaped jello creations.

I promise something more thoughtful and clever tomorrow. Hopefully...

Things to Do When it is too Damn Hot to Go Outside!

Sun by Andy Warhol

On the eve of what is forcasted to be a slight break in our heat wave, I'd like to prepare us for the next round of heat. Come on, you know there will be another wave of heat on the way to this godforsakenhell we call KC in August! This should be a fun thing. Here are a few ideas:

• Take naps. I believe in napping. Heat makes me sleepy. Sleeping restores my soul.


• Read books. Read magazines. Read the paper. Just read. Reading entertains, increases your vocabulary, broadens your horizons, helps you to learn! We are never too old to learn!


• Catch up on your favorite television shows or movies. Summer is a great time to catch the reruns or if you have Tivo or DVR or an On Demand Service you have entertainment at your fingertips.


• How about getting together with friends and opening up the game cabinet? Maybe the liquor cabinet while you are at it. Sangria punch is fabulous in the summertime.


• Slow down, relax take life a little easier. Order in, don't cook! Let someone else do the work for you. While you are at it, hire a cleaning service once or twice if you can.


• Spend quality time with the one you love. Close the door and lock it and let nature take its course. Forget Splendor in the Grass. (What an awful thing to think about in August) Just think Splendor, in the A/C... Okay, moving on.


• Shop. Indoors, of course. Enjoy a day at a good old fashioned Mall! Forget destination shopping for a day and head to the Mall, park and go inside. I'm going to try this one soon, sounds like fun and I haven't been to a food court in forever! Maybe I'll see you in line at Panda Express!

Everyone have a great heatwave!

Hot Property! Price Reduced for Quick Sale!!!

I'm wringing my hands, I can't sit still, I'm worried. We slashed the price of our house today, after only two weeks on the market, in hopes of seeing more action from potential buyers. Hero and I, both being the impatient sort of people that we are, can't see waiting thirty days to reduce the price. The object is to get it sold and move on, right? I mean it is, right?



What has me wringing my hands and headed for my anxiety meds is the constant worry that the more we slash the price, the less we have to spend on our next house where we are going. Considering the difference in real estate prices between here and there we need every penny we can squeeze out of this house. I really feel that we have poured our money, blood sweat and tears into our home and in this situation, trying to sell fast because we are relocating, we may end up getting screwed.



Maybe this is just the necessary price to pay in order for us to be in one location together again. Maybe I'm over thinking things, which is entirely possible. Maybe I'm tired and not feeling well and things will seem better tomorrow. Yes, that is it. Things will feel better tomorrow. Our house will sell in a reasonable amount of time, we won't have had to resort to drastic price slashing measures... such as a seventy percent off sale, at which point we will be living in a thirty year old Winnebago somewhere, which I guess has its good points when I really stop and think about it... we can travel at a moments notice, we would never have to worry about selling another home, gives a new meaning to simple living. I guess I'm just having a momentary lapse in positive thinking. It will pass. Encouragement needed. Sorry for all the whining.

Heat Wave Drags on...

Deep summer is when laziness finds respectability. ~Sam Keen

Very few plans for the upcoming week so far. Reading a book, keeping an eye on my son after oral surgery (wisdom teeth), possibly a trip down south to visit my family in Alabama for the weekend. Oh, and naps. Definitely naps.

Because Everyone Looks Better With Some Color

Friends it is HOT outside here in KC. We are hovering around 95 degrees, high humidity, you all know how it is... the usual August in the Hometown. Because it is Saturday, I'd just like to encourage you grab a towel and a bottle of water and get out there, find a pool or a lake beach and get a little color! Doesn't everyone look better with a tan? That's what I'm told, anyway. Me with my pasty winter white skin, always having to be a rebel. But y'all go ahead, I'm staying inside. I think I'll have a nap! Enjoy!

Happy Saturday!

A Rant to Welcome the Dog Days of August!

I just know the Hero is going to cringe at me bringing up this topic. I'm smiling sweetly, Markie... just sit tight, it will be over soon enough. A subject of controversy here at our little homestead is a family in the neighborhood, perfectly nice I am sure although, I've never actually SEEN the parents, only the 5 or so children playing in the yard. My problem is this. Well to clarify, it isn't really my problem which is why Hero cringes a little bit. Call me Gladys Kravitz, remember her? Nosey neighbor from Bewitched? I know, I know. Cut me some slack. I'm sick sometimes and am here at the house for long periods of time. I observe things. Geez. Now back off and give me my space. (Love you!) Back to the problem, hot topic, observation, whatever you would like to call it.

The youngest child in this family has been naked whenever they let him out doors for four years. Would I lie to you? No I would not. When he was a baby, it was cute, like awwwe, he must have a little diaper rash and they are letting his touche air out. Weeks and months went by. Summers stretched on. Winter turned into spring and children came out to play again. Guess who came outside naked again? Naked Toddler. That summer he made the occasional appearance in a t-shirt, no pants. I noticed, as I was outside tending to my garden that Naked Toddler enjoyed dampening the sand in his sandbox with a little stream of his own pee. Fun times. I would try to look away as the other kids gathered round the sandbox to build sandcastles. Fast forward a couple of years. Naked baby is oh, about 4 or so now. Still naked. Luckily, the family has let a vast screen of perennials (weeds) grow 6 to eight feet high along the fence line for privacy. The only part of their back yard visible now is the sand box. That red hot bio-hazard sandbox teeming with God knows what kind of flesh eating disgustingness.

Unlike our friend Gladys, I'm staying out of it.. the children all seem healthy and happy and polite. They are home schooled and I'm not into butting into other people's business... just observing it. Don't even tell me you don't do the same.

Is it just me, or does Naked preschooler need to put on some clothes? I fear that some creepy pedophile could be lurking around. Or, another creepy factor, one of these days Naked preschooler will be Naked preteen. I just don't get it.

Okay. Rant over.